THE GIRL WHO WORE A SNOWCAP

Sketsa09B - ( a sketch from my early journal )

I know a girl who used to wear a snowcap. She used to surround herself with an imaginary wall of self believe that seems so humongous from an outsider`s point of view. Mine for once. She used to defend attacks of her principle with such great self esteem that one would be impossible to penetrate her private world. The more I tried to figure out her world, the smaller I`d become as the result of my curiousity. It was like knocking my head against the wall that she had built around herself. She had answers for almost everything she was doing. A cure for every predicament. Cleverly disguised. So perfectly intact she was, that one would never expect a flaw anywhere near her. To deter away bad feelings, she had curses and spells and ugly words. Anger and rage.

Time went by. Day by day. Once in a while I`d peep a little into her private merry go round whenever I could by hook or by crook. Slowly I began to understand her. That she had built the wall precisely to adapt herself with changing times. Reasons and excuses for every unwanted feelings that she wanted to deny. All neatly arranged accordingly when needed.

One day as we shared our breakfast and our little woes in life, if any, I saw sparkles in her eyes. Ones that I`ve never seen before and most of all, the wall that used to surround her, had crumbled. She kept relating about her feelings and smiled every now and then, with eyes lazily wandering far away through me and almost everything else in her path. No more spells and curses. I realised then that she had not worn her snowcap for a mighty long time. She had fallen for somebody.