THE EMOTIONS

There will always be emotions in my life. They are like cigarettes to me that I can never be without. Emotions are my drugs. They make me do a million things. Swing me back in the rat race everytime things go haywire. I`d just get myself carried away, far off to distant places. Surrendering all that I have in me and just break to start all over again without a single regret.

THE MEMORIES

Memories linger on like a soft warm wind blowing continually. Comfortably making you feel like being wrapped in a warm blanket on a cold misty morning. They will consume you dry until you cry.

THE TIPTOE

Be careful of what you say. It might lead you to the unknown. At least give a thought about what your words might cause. This is something that you can prevent before it is too late. Be very careful of your words for it might cause a dramatic change of unknown consequences. Positively or negatively. Tiptoe softly step by step as if you are trying to walk pass by a sleeping giant. Don`t let him hear you. Don`t even breath let alone sneeze or you might land into a big trouble. Do not focus on the destination of your footstep for now. Just concentrate on your footstep so as not to make a single sound. Just bear the moment a while and hope for the best. Most of all, pray that you would come out of this. Alive and well.

THE WAY HOME

This road I`m walking on,will always be familiar. The air feels so fresh and wonderful. The scent of the green leaves brings beautiful memories. This quiet road I`m walking on will always lead me to the most wonderful place I`ll never forget. A sanctuary of peace. A haven of solace and tranquility. A place of a timeless age where thoughts never lose their ways. A place of serenity. I`ve always been able to find this road whenever I lose my way every now and then. This will always be my way home.

THE THOUGHT

Suddenly the thought of losing you haunts me. The thought of not having to bug you anymore or to be bugged by you. The thought of not having to exchange bad words with you anymore. The thought of not seeing your sarcastic smirk anymore. The thought of not seeing you play with smoke anymore. The thought of not seeing your angry face or a sweet smile or the "who?me?" face anymore. The thought of not hearing your "childish little cry when you have a bad tooth" anymore. The thought of not buying your cigarettes anymore. The thought of no more needs to buy junk food or having sushi or udon or salmon anymore.

That would take quite a lot from my life. Maybe I`m not that prepared after all or am I just imagining things that I assume. Leave me you will one day and that is a certain fact according to my logic mind. For sure. Life is for living and changes would be made even though certainly not by me. Hell! I hate that fact and I must have written it a dozen times.

THE PLEDGE OF THE JUNKIES

We are just tired of the normal situation that we are in. We are not the normal being we should be. We should be dancing in the streets. We should be singing in the rain. We should be sleeping soundly in a warm bed entertained by sweet dreams of happy days. We are tired. So tired that we think we are not the person we were or should be. We have lost our concentration and strive to overcome what lies ahead. We need some space. We need some air to breath.

THE MIST

I am prepared to leave you. I have no more tricks up my sleeve. The magic is gone perhaps for the better. I must not hold you on my ground. I must not bind you from flying.

Ada Burung - ( a sketch from my early journal )

I am just holding on to a thin string of a misty dream before I lose it. The mist is all that is left between you and me for now. As long as the mist stay, I know the night shall be full of enchantment. That we shall be together sharing the breath of dragons and butterflies. Riding the wind among the clouds high up in the sky. Watching the waves dance past the morning hours. Listening to whispers of fairy tales sparkled by flames of blue diamonds. We shall then again be the lost souls of the night. Chasing the wind until our breath run dry.

I am prepared to lose you when the morning comes as I know you`ll be gone by then. Only to return again on another misty night. When there be no more mist, I would know that you are gone. Forever.

THE DECEIVER

Your smile and laughter did not fool me. I could see behind your eyes that there was nothing but emptiness. Vengeance and anger were slowly dying, no matter how hard you tried to make them stay.

Behind your smile and laughter I could see your strength weakening. Slowly fading. Being overpowered by the feelings that you were trying to run away from. You were just being your old self. Building walls brick by brick to keep away the unwanted feelings. Deep in your mind I could hear the noise when the night crept softly in silence. Cold tears of a bleeding heart, each time you tried to close your eyes. Warm memories that refused to die on a rainy day. You were hiding and fooling everyone. Your smile and laughter were just means of being deceiving but they didn`t deceive me. That didn`t matter to you because most of all, they were for yourself.

I could see in your eyes that you were on the run and no matter how hard you tried you were getting nowhere. Run all you want. Hide however you can. The faster you run, the faster they will be after you. In the end they will be where they were meant to be. In your heart.