THE MONUMENT

Someone was picking up the pieces of dreams that laid shattered on the floor. Rearranging tiny fragments,bits and pieces of broken promises and what was left of what was once a sacred vow. A battle had been lost and blood had been shed. In the end, like an endless myth, foretold over and over again,nobody had won but everything else lost. A sacrificial ritual of broken hearts had taken place.

Someone was building a monument made of gems and gifts of yesterday.Embedded with happy laughters of precious moments.Painted with what was once tears of joy from soft sparkling eyes that once soothed the heart and soul.Most of all built out of love so divine and pure. All had lost their meanings as they laid in pieces on the floor. Nothing but the silent emptiness remained.

THE GIRL FROM OBSCURITY

Tut - ( a sketch from my early journal )

There is someone whom I know very well but then again maybe not that well.

Someone I met out of nowhere or from the most unexpected place that I did not even dream of in the first place.

A friend but then again a bit more than just a friend. A lover but then again maybe no. Even though given half a chance, we probably would be. Then again maybe it`s just because I`m just a man. Vulnerable to soft whispers and tender touch. Ironically she never whispers and we seldom even touch each other, whatmore to be intimate.

Yet I`d miss her when she goes silent or gone missing for days. I`d think about the days we spent together even though we did nothing much except just being together. Even the way she smiled or the look in her eyes at those particular moments would make me feel so wanting to just see her again. Her sweet voice would constantly ring in my ear and I`d recall whatever she had said so clearly.

Then again it`s not like being in love. I`ve been in and out of love a few times. I`d know. I guess.

I don`t know where to put her in my mind or for that matter in my heart. I`d miss her but then again it would be ok. I`d feel like I want to keep her in my heart but then again I`d just let that feeling go so easily.

Sometimes I just love life. It`s so full of obscurity.

THE TROUBLE WITH HAVING A FEELING AGAIN

To win or to lose. It did not matter in the first place. Things we took for granted and never calculated the odds or did not even want to know about the odds and evens. Most of all, we failed to see the within. Not all things were what they seemed to be. What is life if everything had been as clear and as wonderful as crystal. What is life if everything had been calculated from the beginning. Life is beautiful because we just have to live it day by day, full of surprises. Good ones and bad ones. As we got occupied in time, the metaphysics of life itself had always remained naturally in motion. We became forgetful creatures of time in life itself.We forgot about the changes. Things change. Feelings change. People change. The good things remained as beautiful memories that eventually became the past. The bad ones succumbed in flames of anger deep in our hearts. They had blinded us and left scars. Tomorrow we shall be awakened again to another new feeling. To live is to close our eyes and surrender our inner selves.